Part Time Hiatus.

Currently listening to: Hummingbird
By: Born Ruffians

So I’ve officially lost my status as a functioning member of society. I got my free trial for Netflix today for Two DVD’s at a time and unlimited rentals. Totally worth the 14 bucks a month, especially since Chris was so nice to get me the insta-download box for my birthday. (What a great friend)

Anyways, that fact aside I’ve also spent a week without updating, my essential excuse is that there was a massive time-crunch with work, I had to (finally) close on the condo, switch over the utilities and facilitate furniture deliveries. The Disney Project also had a massive deadline which resulted in multiple 16-hour  work days during the week. Needless to say I’ve been stressed, busy, and a little bit worse for the wear. Therefore all of my free time has been effectively divided into movie watching, comic book reading, and sleeping. Tonight I plan on taking my partner out for a nice dinner, since he had such a bad day yesterday and I kind of abandoned him to go to a friends barbeque — not to be a terrible girlfriend, I just really wanted to get out of the city for a bit.

This next week is going to be filled with phone calls to plan internet and cable installations, water, trash pickup, recycling, furniture assembly, and lock changing. I plan on purchasing a bike as well as the various safety accessories so I can facilitate transportation to and from school for myself, as well as some summer recreation.

I am too busy with work to presently write another post, hopefully I’ll be less exhausted when I arrive at home and we’ll see how it goes. Movie reviews to come for: Walk Hard, The Great Debators, We own the Night, The Oh in Ohio, and the Cider House Rules

A more serious blog post.

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately sitting around and contemplating my life. Yesterday on the long train ride back from Davis Square, I found myself looking at my darkened reflection in the window, a mere shadow of the person that I am, the light has faded from my eyes and the smile that once seemed to be so easy to come now has it’s own struggle to be genuine. I’m not trying to say that I’m depressed, I just feel lost, I’ve lost myself in the real world, in college drama, in schoolwork, in work  work. In all of this commotion, my ability to be me has been lost, and I don’t know who I really am anymore.

 

I don’t exactly know what I’m trying to write about, I know I am trying to facilitate change in my life. I feel that people I once considered to be the best of friends I can now no longer communicate with, that I’m being brought down by people I still would give anything to if I could. I’m empty, the spoon is scraping on the bottom of the bowl, and there’s just nothing else that I can give. I don’t know what more people want of me, I understand that it is the nature of man to take, but how does no one realize that there is nothing left? I am here, left, a mere shell of whom I once was.

 

I have set new goals to commence on Saturday. I am getting dreadlocks (much to my parents dismay) and I am hoping that they will help me facilitate a change in my life which has now become stagnant and borderline rancid. I want to enjoy the sunshine (whenever it finally comes), be healthier, and overall be a better me. This is something that I need that I feel noone has really understood thus far. I still have those old joys in me, they just need to be coerced out, I want to read comic books and be excited again. To watch Cartoons and laugh, to be able to hang out with my friends and not have every other day turn into a shitshow. I crave some normalcy, some consistency and some vibrancy, I want it back in my life. Hopefully the April rains and sunny May will bring that to me. I can only hope.

 

In the meantime, for happier Easter-ish thoughts. Look at the peepshow. LOOK AT IT.